In an article published in Esquire magazine, author Chris Jones admits to his less than ideal bedroom prowess then promptly goes on to attack most of the women he’s ever slept with, calling them “unenthusiastic, uncomfortable, and uncommunicative, the human equivalent of the space between the couch cushions, only without the bonus possibility of my finding loose change in there… Just relax. Yes, we make our stupid jokes, but contrary to popular belief, most guys enjoy cunnilingus, and most vaginas don’t smell like a fresh bag of Funyuns.”
What could be pretty enlightened ends are achieved through counterintuitive, offensive means. Jones aims to make the overall point that having sex should be a cooperative experience that hinges on communication between both involved parties. But he underestimates the power of his forceful language and the associations his readers will immediately make when seeing comments like “vaginas don’t smell like a fresh bag of Funyuns.” Even if people do, in fact, agree that vaginas don’t smell like such-and-such snack foods, women will ask themselves, “Oh god… is this what men think of our parts?” In saying something doesn’t mean something, Jones is actually suggesting the possibility that, for at least one moment in life, it did.
Comparing women to inanimate objects, (“space between couch cushions”, “downed deer strapped to the hood of a car”) does not make for an intelligent argument, is generally pretty sexist, and negates any potential for a valuable overarching message. In claiming that he wants to inspire women to have a voice he actually deprives them of it by making these and other associations.
Perhaps Jones should consider why it is that so many of the women he sleeps with are unenthusiastic and uncomfortable. Of note in his piece is his discussion that responsibility should be equally shared between partners, but goes on for the rest of the article to complain about all the women who have failed him sexually, promptly ridiculing them and women like them who now feel even more self-conscious than society has already made them about who they are sexually and what they mean to their sexual partners.
More disturbing than the content of this piece and the way it is framed is the idea that Chris Jones actually furthers stereotypes of men as insensitive and ignorant. This is, of course, not the case for most (if not all) men. Were I a man, I would be deeply and profoundly devastated that a man like this, out of all the enlightened, caring, giving, loving men in the world, was given a voice to publicly express himself, an expression that critic Dr. Logan Levkoff calls a failed endeavor.
Read the article here and let me know if you agree: http://www.esquire.com/features/women-who-are-bad-in-bed-0412