Screw you, Val!

I know I said I wouldn’t be complaining about Val again for a whole year, but this image is just irresistible.

First of all, what is that squishy paper-towel-holder-looking apparatus in the lower left hand corner? Artichoke? Finger? Moist tampon? Second, giant black blobs of fear, hate, and sour awful pickledness are NOT food…nobody likes olives. Or, I don’t like them so nobody else should. Third, it looks as if the prepared meal has been chewed. A concerned Val student-worker (and coerced informant) commented, “contrary to popular belief, dining services actually has us pre-chew the food so as to improve both the students’ digestive processes and to save money on pricey laxatives–that’s why the mac and cheese is so tasty and moist.” Fourth, screw. Maybe it adds texture, but maybe I almost choked on it.


*Thanks for the feature photo!